By: Dr. Aqsa Kamal
Man and manhood. Definition of man has changed over the centuries. From the man who could kill a beast to he who had more slaves, to he who owned more property. You can always be just another guy whenever you want, but being a man who can not only capture everyone’s attention but also envy of many, means to grow up and be a little smoother. From a guy to a man, you can always be very appealing and inspiring. After tons of research work, surveys, public questioning, status updates among women, girls, boys, men; we got these 10 points which are the most heart touching for almost every women if they find them in a man and the most certain point of jealousy for a man, if they find them in another man. Starting from number 10 here they are:
The key of success in everything is ‘CONFIDENCE’. Our number one #1 spot is taken by your ‘confidence’. You can have everything but if you don’t have the ‘confidence’ consider yourself already failed. Confidence is firm trust in oneself. Be confident in what you do, say or think. Don’t hesitate to show your views and don’t give justifications. Start everything with confidence. You are the best person you ever know. Trust yourself.
2 . Be clear and let her know she’s the One:
Whether she is your wife, fiancée, girl friend, or friend if she is the one then she is the one. It takes more than one glance to know if she is the ‘one’. Choose her after knowing her in every way you want to. But once you have her then try your best to be satisfied with your decision. You must be clear in your every way and thought. Don’t confuse it, a gentleman loves his girl. Introduce her to your circle and give her that right to be with you the way she deserves to be. This will increase your dignity among other fellows. You can have colleagues and friends but the position which she holds in your life, you must not shake it. Your family, your personal life is above everything remember this.
3. Stop showing off:
Sitting among a few dudes and showing off your new car or new cell phone must surely have been fun during your teens but seriously stop it now. The most irritating thing one can do is showing off and trying to be better than everybody else. People are not blind; they notice every minor detail about every person they meet. Let your personality; attitude and way of treating them, define you. You don’t need to tell them that you are very famous and rich. Trust me this is where you lose most of your scoring marks. Trying to famous and showing off gets you nowhere, stop trying it and your things will speak for you, themselves. You will actually Be better than everyone else.
4. Approach and respect women for who they are, not because their neck is attached to their rack:
Going to a bar, having few drinks and picking up a chick isn’t such a good idea. A man should know how to approach a woman even if she is your wife. When you’re approaching her, not only to ask her out but in anyway, you must know how to ‘approach’ her. When you talk to a lady, she knows very well where you’re looking. Whether you’re looking into her eyes or starring at her lips and other things, you know what I mean. When you approach her, look into her eyes, listen to what she is saying, understand the motive behind it. Be decent, polite, be on the place which she likes and show her that you can be any where she would like you to be (even if you won’t be). Meet her at some reasonable decent place, like in a park or coffee restaurant; with respect. Look in to their eyes ‘don’t imagine her naked already’. Listen to what she is saying, let her speak. A gentleman always lets a woman to speak first and respects her. Your approach should be unique and inspiring.
5. Hygiene and Neatness:
Men these days have also become conscious of their looks and their bodies and its men who look neat and clean that have also become more attractive to guys and ladies both. Neatness and self hygiene have always been very important. But it is said that women are more clean and neat than men (laughter). Go ahead show everyone with your looks, fragrance, style that you are clean, neat, disease free and also conscious about it.
6. Ability of Speaking and be Able to Know what you’re Saying Next:
On number 6 we got a very important point of life. During your teens you may only have the ‘right things’ to say. But this is not how it goes on. You must say right things no doubt but you should also know what to say and when to say it. People are not always looking for straight forward things, especially the opposite sex. Whenever you’re in conversation, you must know that, what conversation is about and you must know what you’re saying. Women like romantic – funny discussions, elders like logical- issue based discussions, your age mates like the topics in news. So always know to whom you are talking and what you are saying. That’s not the end with a happy ending, you must also know what to say next to keep the conversation going on for at least few minutes with interest. Like they say a person who can’t keep up the conversation for more than 30 seconds has no future. An attractive man is always good in what he talks about and speaks.
7. Generosity not only in a Smile but also in Heart:
A man is known by the generosity he keeps in him. A man is never expected to be a miser, narrow-minded or conservative. Be generous in every way you can be. Be generous in letting go, in giving, in understanding things, in admitting things, in appreciating, in courteousness, in developing your personality. You know what it means; generosity does not always mean to give charity. Stop bothering about minor problems and focus on what is the main goal.
8 Don’t use Dad as a Source for everything and seek Independence from Mama:
Your dad may or may not be a ladies’ man, or he may or not be a rich man but it’s important to not rely on your dad all the time for relationships and financial advice. A very common thing we see in many men is that they rely on their dads for relationship and financial issues as a resource and they take a little too much advice from their mother. In other words they put their mothers in everything. Grow up; come on. A lady will never like her man to be so dependant and not being able to stand up on his own. You are a man; you must know how to handle your relationship and how to manage your financial setups. If you don’t know how to manage them right now then by certain reasonable age you must know. It’s not just about ladies; even your colleagues, friends and social circle won’t appreciate it. In short stop being a mummy daddy guy. To be a man you must act like a man. Take decisions, trust them and yourself. Where ever you stand, you are there because of your own efforts and you can go even well. You have sense and you can right for yourself better than anyone else.
Too many men start their professional / personal lives without a clue as to how to dress. This really needs to change. Personality is a very important part of an individual. Imagine waking up on a day of an important meeting or interview and reaching there with frizzy hair and un-ironed clothes. This is not the way and this had never been. Dressing impressively is the first step to be impressive.
10. Let your fears go away:
Being fearless doesn’t mean that you are able to do every dare. In the moment everything can be painful and fearful- the break ups, business loss, sudden open secrets, lies, family issues etc. every rejection seems heart breaking, but it’s not the end. Let go of all your fears and face bad situations with courage. Face them and make them right. This is what everyone looks in a man.